Over the summer, I had a lot of time to dig deeper into who I am and find a new understanding of what has happened throughout my life this year. I have been able to find new meanings in things that have happened to me, specifically this year. I thought a lot about my parents’ divorce and my hip surgery that I got in December. The thing I have been thinking a lot about recently is my Godfather. Before I start, I would like to say that talking to people really helped me, so if you’re reading this, I definitely recommend talking to someone. It really helped me a lot.
Throughout my childhood, I spent a lot of time with my Godparents. They came to as many family events that they could. My Godfather was basically another parent to me. April 13, 2019. I remember coming home from a journalism convention that day and my dad sitting me down to talk to me. My Uncle Lawrence, who is also my Godfather, had passed away. Sometimes, you never realize how much someone means to you until you lose them. He had a long fight with cancer, so sadly, everyone in the family knew that he didn’t have much more time left. When he passed away, I remember being extremely mad at everything and everyone, because I couldn’t believe that God would let someone who was so important, so compassionate, and so loving leave this earth. I couldn’t believe that someone would be taken away from me before being able to witness me getting married, having kids, and growing into the adult he would want me to be. Now, I’ve had roughly five months to grow through this experience, and I would say that although I was extremely angry when he passed, I know he is in a better place for him personally and that he is no longer in pain. Although I did not get the chance to continue to spend as much time with him once I got to about the age of 12, he will always be one of the most important people to me.
All I can say is that I’m happy with where I am now. At 18, I understand that I was put through these situations so that God could push me to be the best person I could possibly be. Although not being happy with my Godfather passing away, I’ve had the ability to grow in a way I feel I never would have gotten if I didn’t go through this situation. I’m still grateful for having such a loving Godfather for 17 years. The situations I’ve gone though let me become a mature adult, and I am grateful for everything I have and everything I ever had. It took me a while to figure myself out, who I am, what I like, who I want to be, but in the end, I know that I’ve had the life I am intended to have and I’m glad I’m able to grow that way.