Coming out can be difficult at any age, but imagine mixing it in with the stress of an average high school student. Many LGBT+ students at North have figured out how to do just that.
“It was accepting myself and then telling other people; there’s a difference… So when people asked I had an answer,” said senior Shiloh Miller.
In Miller’s case, she decided not to come out fully until she found the label she most identified with.
“For me, I like to have a label because it makes me feel more comfortable… To put it in a grey area is more confusing for me,” Miller said.
Each person that comes out does it in their own way and for their own reasons. Junior Oliver Kolek found it easier to take it in steps with the support of his friends throughout the whole journey.
“The first time I came out was in eighth grade, and it was as genderfluid to my friends. This year I came out school-wide, and that was as trans. I mainly did it because I wanted people to use the right pronouns,” Kolek said.
Because of Kolek’s accepting and supporting friends, he was able to try out different gender identities with an accepting group until he found the one he most identified with.
“I was kind of the first one to experiment with trans identity. They saw that because I’d go back and forth between feeling like a girl and a boy. That’s why I thought I was genderfluid for a while, but it got to the point where I knew I was trying to maintain a balance when there was no balance,” Kolek said.
Each step of the process can be done in so many different ways, and there are many resources in place to help students make the process easier.
“I personally went through my counselor to make an announcement to the school because I didn’t want to go up to each teacher individually. That would have been a very stressful day,” Kolek said.
For students looking for more support with peers, there are organizations within the school that provide students with a safe space to learn about their identities alongside other students. One of these is the club SAGA.
“They can be themselves for this one hour a week that we meet, but then it seems that they get a bigger network of friends who are in the same situation. I think that does empower them to feel more comfortable with broadening that circle and letting more people know,” said one of the club’s sponsors Chris Fisherkeller.
There are also plenty of adults in the school who are able to help students with their coming out process.
“Given the faculty questionnaire we had last year, every single student in this building has at least two teachers that are very strong advocates, and the vast majority of other teachers are and can be advocates,” said another sponsor of SAGA, Patrick Green.
While having support around the school is always helpful, it’s also important that LGBT+ youth have support at home.
“If you’re going to come out, do it where you know you’re accepted. That’s the one piece of advice I really have. If you know you’re not going to be accepted, wait until you can be on your own and can support yourself,” Miller said.